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Welcome to the jungle, aka the internet. If you’re looking for something, it’s there. At least we have search engines so we can find what we’re looking for. It would be ridiculous to just find it on our own and bookmark everything ourselves. But even with these sophisticated algorithms and search technologies, it still doesn’t solve every problem.

I mean, what if I’m looking for something like “the best tits”? I’ll get about 5 zillion websites in the search results. Am I just supposed to go research these sites myself? What if the top results are all bullshit? I could be in the deep end of the titty pool all day sorting out the good jugs from the mediocre floppers.

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Do you have a celebrity crush? Most of us do. Celebrities are larger than life, and the thought of being with them, touching them, or fucking them is almost beyond comprehension sometimes. I mean, can you imagine what it’d be like to actually be balls deep in Scarlett Johansson? I’d give my right nut just for a hug from her. Did you hear that, Scarlett?!

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